Simon Walland Family Law

Having left my ex in 2002, and been offered one hour each month to see my two boys, on the basis that ‘you are no longer their father’ I decided to make an application to court to see them properly.

I went to see a Solicitor for their ‘Free’ half an hour advice session, and barely managed to give my name and address and give a very small explanation before the ‘Free’ time was up and I needed to pay £250 to go any further. With my ex-wife’s words ringing in my ears ‘I will bankrupt you with Solicitors costs’ I went home and filled in the application myself. Now it is online so even easier to do yourself.

A court date was listed several months ahead, the offer of one hour a month was withdrawn because ‘We will let the court decide’ was the new rule to be followed.

Nothing can be as painful as not seeing your children, and worse when you know that this time last month we were doing the shopping, taking the kids into the Pound Shop and telling them to choose anything they wanted and daddy would buy it for them, laughing when they realised it was only the Pound Shop, going to the park, singing along to songs in the car and having fun. Painful to know that I was the one and only person in the world that could not see my children.

Eventually the court date arrived. I was bricking it. I had no idea what to say or do. I did not know what might happen. I went to the court, shaking with fear and worrying. My ex was there with what seemed like a coachload of her friends. Her neighbours were there, (they were mine as well a month ago but now I was nothing to them) and I was alone. It can be a lonely place in court waiting for your case to be called and you just sit and worry.

Her Solicitor came over to me and started demanding in a very loud voice so that everyone else could hear that I stopped the case, that I should agree to 2 hours every two weeks, to not allow anyone to be with me when I had the boys, to give my ex an itinerary of what I would do during my precious two hours, what I would feed them, and the list of demands went on. To be honest, I don’t think I even replied to anything said to me because I was so confused, heartbroken and upset.

We went into the hearing and the Judge seemed pleasant enough, a bit like a Headmistress. She certainly knew what she was doing. The Solicitor jumped up and explained the situation to the Judge who then asked me what I wanted. I wanted to see my children, I wanted to be their father again, I wanted to have the fun we had together, I wanted to sit with them, hold their hands, laugh and joke. I wanted to be Dad.

It clearly wasn’t the answer that she wanted, she asked me when, how long, how often, I was confused, I hadn’t really thought about it, I didn’t know what to say.

That bloody Solicitor jumped up again and suggested 2 hours every other weekend. The Judge asked why so little. ‘Mother has concerns with his parenting abilities and he is unable to keep them safe from harm. When the Judge asked why she was told that I had allowed them to play on the stairs and the youngest had fallen down the stairs.

I racked my brains and remembered that the three of us were sat on the bottom step and he had slid off the bottom step onto the floor.

Before I could explain the Judge said I would have alternate Saturdays 10.00 until 12.00 and there would be a report made and we would come back in 3 months. End of hearing.

I was devasted, I cried all the way home and wondered what could I have done to make things different. Fortunately, within a year the children were staying with me at weekends, we were going on holiday, we were holding hands, laughing and going back to the Pound Shop. I was a Dad again.

I have now been a Lawyer for over twenty years, I have assisted thousands of parents to see their children again, to stop relocation, to do all I can to prevent the loss to a child of a parent. To be the best I could, I studied Family Law, I passed a Law Degree and in 2010 I was ‘Called to the Bar’ as a Barrister. I help with Children, Finances, Divorce and Domestic Abuse cases all over the country.